WEED FAIRY POT SMOKING SKATER POSING GANGSTA WANNA BE

longest title i've had yet.
ahh shiit.
someone get Guinness on the phone.
alright so guess what this ones about?
someone...something....somehow...bothering the ever living shit outta me.
anything new?
fuck na,
kay so my brother has this *friend?* named jake.
&nope. that name WAS NOT changed.
soo. last night i was at this dipshits pool.
and MEAN MR MUSTARD jacob was doin tricks (?) on his skateboard (?) with his six pack (?) a-showin it's true colors.
shiit. wheres that notepad of mine?


*NOTED*
a) get new notepad.
b) tricks? i could hardly call that a toddler crawl.
c) skateboard? im thinkin he might've found this *board with wheels* in his creek where his crackhead-fucked-ass-loser-no-shit older brother lives. but hey, this could just be the rum i had last night in my diet coke.
d) sixback? shiiit brah. wouldn't call it flab, but there was deff some love action goin on. *EHEM* correction! love HANDLE action goin on.


so back on crack...'xuse me. TRACK. i was sittin on a deck chair, texting, talking on the phone w| a friend of mine about her loser ass son of a bitch weed fairy fuck stick of an ex boyfriend. *further blogs will be included on such yanking motha Satanette.
so we were on the phone talking about Satanette's lack of being able to board. at all. ya know, talkin about how he cant do an ollie to save his fat ass mother's life. normal stuff. for me. OUT OF NO WHERE we (i?) hear.
"HELL JAKE! THAT WAS ONE KICK ASS 90 DEGREE!" nonetheless, it was number one fan Austin cheering on his fellow poser. i hang up the phone.
"do it again jake. this time multiply it by four" i say,
"360? Jake cant do that!" austin.
"how long have you been doing this again?" me.
"two and a half years. wait, are you including the half year he was in Reno? oh! what about the two months he was in nyc?" austin. didn't know why he didn't pull out his day planner of about 5 years. *snap* he never even included the times he was sick. i mean stomach flu? fatal. crucial to the whole wanna-be-punk-ass process. puhhhhlease.
"wait wait wait austin. you hush yer ass kissin mouth for just about three seconds. go study the facts on the back of the flash cards you crafted up in the time that jake actually WASN'T signing autographs. im pretty sure your mac/apple has you penciled in for a "iPop" quiz next tuesday." *me*
i guess all i heard we 'OOOOOHHHH!'s and 'SHIIIIIIIIIITTT!'s. whatever,
swear ta god, i thought austin would start crying. so he just ran to the basement. what the fuck ever. prolly goin to shoot up. be my guest. oh, & im pretty sure my mtherm has her exotic crack pipe from Hawaii in her purse somewhere in the 'adult room' upstairs. just a-tippin you off there, pal. just be careful of the strippers. they're the cheap kind. im sure theres crabs walkin all over the walls up there.
'madi you are the mother fucking shit' high fives, secret handshakes that i swear to effing god were never taught to be before this, and even a butt smack? if i knew who it was, they'd be face-down in the pool STILL as i type this. fuck ass pervs.
so? to sum this whole SHABANG up, i asked jake one, teeny, tiny, little, simplified question.
"ollie. do one." i say,
"no shittin problem." jake.
skate up the ramp, turn around, push off anddddd....
guess where that landed him? well, it actually DIDN'T quite land..but hey, couldn't two ambulances and one fire truck clean that up?
course not.

michael jackson

so today i watched this michael jackson special on dateline
*lord knows how bored i was*
and it turns out..he seemed actually like a nice guy...
but jesus fucking christ was he effed up.
i swear to god.
you should watch it.
disturbing.
okay so i guess what i wanted to say was i guess i was never a huge fan of michael jackson or anything, but he didn't deserve to die.
..
wouldn't mind if he was institutionalized for a bit?
but whado i know...

what the fu...?

okay so i dont get this,
personal opinion here, yep this ones just kinda out there.
alright...sooo pc4pc?
nope. im actually one of the first people NOT bothering you for picture comments
i dont see why some people have to beg for comments.
i think it makes the people i love seem like someone theyre not
it makes them look desperate, and your not(:
i dont think some people see it, but asking for people to "leave you love" is like asking friends for money.
it's kinda like...."well...uh sure? i guess? here ya go?"
people are so different online...some people say stuff that they wouldn't DREAM of saying in person to someone.
what has the world come to?
myspace & facebook?
is that how we adress someone we love?
someone we hate?
EVEN someone we've never even met before?
when people leave you comments, you want them to be from the heart right?
not because you asked them to do it.
"leaving love" is when someone openly and on their own leaves you something.
wall posting, pic comment, message, comment, what ever.
all the same.
still..desperate sounding?
i'm just putting that out there.
it just seems stupid to ME.
am i right?

Yep?

Yup.
So this is a website?
Blog?
Blow-off-ye-olde-steam-er?
Gah. Who gives a flyin fu.....
Never mind.
Ow, my dogs chewing on the bottom of my pant leg.
And i just cracked my knuckles ten x to the extreme?
I miss Chandler.
BeastieBOYS are the shiiit.
96ROCK really does rock my socks.
'eat more chikin'
stfu Obama.
Go fuck yer 'bama-mama.
Hyphenated.
Tits. Pig's chewin my carpet.
Gotta fly?
Im really not even black.
Peace?
K, wheres my note pad?
Guess it's time to mentalize it uppppp?
*mental* note to myself?
Im not that *G* either.
IM from kelsey?
Shall i update the stalker?
Sure, I was just about to pass out copies of my ID & business cards with my address and what time i go to sleep....
Bye?